Rest in Peace

I think many of you know already that Tate passed away the night before last. It was just hours after my last post about moving him to an actual hospice facility. At about 5:30pm the nurse told us that his blood pressure had dropped and she didn’t think he would make it through the night. We gathered around his bed, as we had been doing for days, and said our goodbyes. The we (Steve, Maureen, Karen and Michael) told him we would be back after dinner. We needed Taquila. 15 minutes after we left the room, the nursed called to say that he had died. We rushed back to the hotel. Desi returned with Ashley, Jennifer and Carole. We sat with him for a while and cried.

We are planning a memorial service here in Hartford for the end of the month.  We will try to nail down a date today and then we will of course post it here.  Anyone and Everyone is encouraged to come.  We will help people with arrangements as best we can.



  1. #1 by JoAnne Bauer on June 5, 2012 - 3:48 pm

    Julia, thank you for keeping a community informed of his transition. Remember to take good care of yourself.

  2. #2 by Anonymous on June 5, 2012 - 3:55 pm

    I lost my breath when I saw an email with the news, sitting at work in my cube I think I sucked in all the oxygen for that moment in the office. I remember someone once told me about caring for someone through this transition is an absolute privilege. Julie, you and Tate’s friends/family were privileged to escort him to the end of life and beginning of what now he — and sadly Rich, and Flo, and Sam, etc etc etc — only know.
    Listen to Joanne, please take care of yourselves now. A celebration of Tate’s life can wait until you are all up for it. You’ve been through hell and need recovery and healing time.
    Thanks for sharing this amazing story of love with us.

  3. #3 by Anonymous on June 5, 2012 - 3:56 pm

    JULIA, of course….not Julie who is my sister and has nothing to do with my post. So sorry about messing up your name…….

  4. #4 by Lucy Rosenblatt on June 5, 2012 - 4:05 pm

    btw, she means they rushed back to the “hospital”, not to the “hotel”. I’m sure most of you figured that out, but I didn’t want it to be ambiguous.
    And thank you to the kind anonymous person above for your wise words. And thank you to all the anonymous and not so anonymous people who have poured out love and support. Thank you for my daughter and my whole family. And thank you for myself.

  5. #5 by nick wolf on June 5, 2012 - 4:22 pm

    my prayers are with everybody involved… to be surrounded by love before leaving this life.. a gift.. but mr. tate earned that gift.. his light is in whatever heaven might be..

  6. #6 by Laurie McCants on June 5, 2012 - 4:40 pm

    Thanks so much for all you did for Tate. Love is everything.

  7. #7 by Nina on June 5, 2012 - 4:56 pm

    I am so glad you all got to say your goodbyes, and that Tate was so fully surrounded by love at the end of his generous, rich, and amazing life. I’m not usually the kind of person who believes in souls traveling, but I think Tate’s wanted to leave that hospital bed and join you for a shot of tequila.

    We are all lucky we had Greg Tate in our lives, and we’ll have him in our hearts forever. To all of you on the front lines, grateful thanks for taking such strong loving care of him. Hug each other, cry, and get some rest. As the wise poster above says, all plans can wait till you’re ready. Take as good care of yourselves as you did of dear Tate. Lots of love.

  8. #8 by Ashlynn Abbott on June 5, 2012 - 7:02 pm

    May he rest in peace. He was such an institution in this community, and the hole in our hearts in large. Thank you so much Julia for keeping us informed of these important details. The Hartbeat community is such a beautiful one and I am blessed to have been a part of it. Please take care of yourself and let us know how we can help.

  9. #9 by Eliot Nerenberg and Amy Jaffe on June 5, 2012 - 7:45 pm

    We had tears in our eyes as soon as we learned of Tate’s passing Sunday night. What a wonderful person he was and what a wonderful world he created and what joy he brought to all who knew him. Julia, you are your extended family are truly angels.

    If you need a place for out of town people to be put up for his memorial, let us know.

    Love and peace,

    Eliot and Amy

  10. #10 by Oanh Nguyen on June 5, 2012 - 8:33 pm

  11. #11 by Ricky K.-B. on June 6, 2012 - 7:10 pm

    Sorry for your loss. Wish I got to know him better.

  12. #12 by Anonymous on June 6, 2012 - 7:36 pm

    Being so far away We really appreciate all of the updates… My 2 son’s and I may not be able to attend the services will try if we can..Tuesday we looked through pictures,talked or our memories and love for Greg, Cried, got angry and did our best to try and process all of our emotions..It really helps to know that there are so many family and friends that have been there for him…We love you Greg Tate… Rest in peace our friend….
    Ginny, Eddie and Brian

  13. #13 by Darrel Moellendorf on June 7, 2012 - 4:24 am

    Apologies for the cross posting. But here is what I posted on Facebook:

    Many of us lost a dear friend when Greg Tate died Sunday. I had known Tate for 20 years, most of my adult life. I don’t remember when I first met him but it was while he was working with the San Francisco Mime Troupe and for the past two decades he’d been an important friend. He lived with us for a few months on two different occasions in South Africa; he was my bowling teammate on “The Wobblies” back in 97-98 at the Albany Bowl; he was in the room when I learned I was to be a father—we smoked Cuban cigars and drank Cuban rum to celebrate; he taught me how to make collard greens; we watched college football together; he was unbelievable at “6 Degrees from Kevin Bacon;” he seemed to know every line of the movie “Repo Man;” he always lifted my spirits; he was a comrade; he was one of the most generous souls I’ve ever met; and he enriched my vocabulary, just as he enriched my life—“larrupin,” “like a mug,” and “pooty on that” are just a few of his words live on in my usage. I can’t remember the last time I saw him, but I was texting him up until about two weeks ago and he was still in good humor. Now there is no one with whom to share one of those jokes that were especially sweet because we had been passing them back and forth for the last 20 years. I’ve read several remembrances of Tate over the past few weeks and so many people, so many whom I have never met, were deeply fond of him. If a life is to be measured by how much a person was loved, his was truly immense. How fortunate I have been to be able to count him as my friend. But right now, I’m just sad like a mug.

  14. #14 by Anke Fleckenstein on June 7, 2012 - 1:18 pm

    Dear family and friends of Tate, dear Julia, dear Steve,

    5-year old Sophie said to me yesterday: “Mama, when people are dead, nothing can happen to them anymore, right?!”
    Yes, Sophie, that’s right and they probably sit on a beautiful cloud, munching away, since it is made of cotton-candy.

    They are here with us. In our hearts. In our souls. We can hear their voice, we can hear their laughter, we see them walk, see them throw salt behind their back for good-luck.

    Of all the talks I am having in my head with Tate right now, I wish I could have another ‘real deal’ (and that is a very egoistic thought).

    You are all so brave. If it touches me, who hasn’t seen Tate in 8 years, so deeply, how must it touch you?!

    I try to find consolation in the thought, that he found love, that he lived life to the fullest, that he was courageous, lived his dream with the HeartBeat and was surrounded by beautiful and caring family members and friends as he passed.

    Love and Respect to all of you.

    Auf Wiedersehen, lieber Tate!!!
    Leipzig, Germany

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